#90 Ummmmmm……

Do you ever wish you were a better conversationalist?  

In her excellent book, Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, Harvard Professor Alison Wood Brooks introduces her research-backed maxims for improving conversations:

𝗧OPICS: Choose good topics and manage them well.

𝗔SKING: Ask more, and better, questions.

𝗟EVITY: Use humor and warmth to keep conversations fizzy and engaging.

𝗞INDNESS: Prioritize your partner’s conversational needs.

One surprising recommendation is 𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽:  noting down what we might discuss 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 we attend a party or meet a friend for lunch.

According to Brooks, “Topic prep frees up our mental space during conversation, so we can be more attentive, feel less panicked, and speak more fluently . . . In studies I’ve worked on, telling participants to think ahead about possible topics 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘴 increased the fluidity of their conversations, especially at the often-awkward transition points between topics.”